Imagine you’re a baby in a woman’s womb.
One unfortunate day, your mother and father get into a car accident.
Your father is thrown out from the car, rushed to the hospital immediately, unsure if he could be saved.
Your mother is dead on the spot and you as a baby in the womb, can actually be saved.
Given the choice, would you like to be saved?
Filed under: Uncategorized on November 7th, 2009 | No Comments »
事业、亲情、友情、爱情；哪个，你摆在第一位？
无论你把哪个放在第一；它们，总是问题的根源。
太多的人事物，让我很无奈。
累了，心很累了。
累得让我。。。捉摸不到自己。
迷失了。
努力过，失败了。
无法自己。
会做出什么，不晓得。
只知道，我无法自己了。
也不想让自己那么不堪，那么痛苦了。
真的不想了。。。
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 30th, 2009 | No Comments »
Seriously, kill me using a very sharp knife if you want. Really.
Don’t torture me by using that blunt knife…
Cannot d… I cannot d… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 26th, 2009 | 8 Comments »
I can no longer stand it.
Decision made: No outings at all for this week.
I’m gonna stay home only except working time.
Update at 11.05am:
me: feel like going genting
yl: who just said that no more outing?
me: *thinking hard who
……………..
me: eh! why are you reading my blog at work?!
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 26th, 2009 | 6 Comments »
天啊～鞭炮本来就是华人的传统嘛，怎么印度人也那么爱啊？
鞭炮，照理不在ｄｅｐａｖａｌｉ时出现的啊！
不是不爱鞭炮。事实上，我爱极了！
就是因为太爱，在这异乡听到鞭炮会让我心痛啊！
呼呼。。。鞭炮声，会让我想起农历新年；农历新年，就会让我想起家啦！
随着鞭炮而想起的烟花，更是让人心痛。
每响一次，我的心就绞痛一次。
唉。。。就别折磨我了嘛～～～
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 19th, 2009 | No Comments »
玩乐器的男生，很帅！
赫赫。。。也不是全都帅啦。。。
是那种，很会玩，而又不做作的。:)
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工作的缘故，
脑，总是不停的在运作；
思绪，也在不停的运转。
有很多，想在这分享。
想想，还是不了。
担心，引起误会，
害怕，惹来麻烦呢！
哈！要写，就得花很长的时间，确保我所写的不会引起不必要的争论。
现在，没那心思呢！
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明天又星期一了。 
不是不爱工作。
只是，精疲力尽呢！
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 18th, 2009 | No Comments »
Sometimes, I really wonder why am I doing what I’m doing.
Why can’t I be irresponsible and be a bad person.
Say good things when I’m happy with you.
Say bad things when I’m not happy with you.
Like that. Simple.
Why can’t I be like that?
Why do I need to care if my words hurt you?
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 15th, 2009 | 2 Comments »
fwd mail…
去年，我的一個朋友也選擇了結束生命，他是清華大學的博士，
年輕，而且一畢業就進入了非常好的公司工作，妻子在讀心理學博士。
從我的角度看，實在不知道能有什麼想不開，
但他的病歷明確地告訴大家，他有很嚴重的憂鬱症。
但像我這樣的庸人，往往會看還有比我更不如意的，
然後就心滿意足地洗洗睡了，而對自己的理想很堅持的人，
要不就繼續與現實衝撞下去，要不就選擇結束生命。
其實，不時地有朋友發信過來，
叫我注意,生活與事業的平衡，也就是BALANCED LIFE。
如果每天工作14小時、回家跟親人說不上幾句話，你覺得生活平衡嗎？
好在我不是這樣。
我一直覺得業餘時間在家陪親人散步、看電視、給親人做飯等
是最大的享受，因此覺得自己的生活還是平衡的。
但前天我讀MBA時候的同學發來的信還是叫我感慨不已：
一個著名的寺院裡住著一位非常有道行的道長。
他每天都要在傍晚6時去餵他的狗。
狗的名字很奇怪，叫做”放下”。
每到日落時分, 靜修道長就為”放下”送飯了，嘴一邊呼喚著 : “放下！放下！”
小弟子覺得很奇怪，就問道長:”為什麼要給狗起這個奇怪的名字，
人家的狗都叫阿黃、來福什麼的，為什麼您的狗叫’放下’？
“靜修道長不語，讓他們自己去悟。
小弟子就觀察老道長，終於發現：
每天當道長餵完狗後，就不再讀經書，到院中打打太極拳，散散步。
小弟子到道長面前，訴說了他們觀察的收穫，
老道長微笑地點點頭說：”你們終於明白了。
其實我在叫狗的時候，其實也是叫自己’放下’，讓自己放下許多事情。
因為人們不可能在一天內做完所有的事情，
你只要將一天中最很重要的事情做完就已足夠了。
在人們越來越習慣動輒高呼殘酷競爭時，其實學會”放下”的意義就越大。
正仿佛當你自覺遭遇滅頂挫折時，不妨手搭涼棚，
你一定會發現：天並不會塌下來。
這並不是不求上進，恰恰在於懂得放下的，才最終會贏；
而整日忙碌不休的人，收穫的往往只是焦慮和疲憊。
就在今天，在我看到這位女記者的事情之前，我又看到了這樣一個故事：
有一支西方的考察隊深入非洲腹地考察，
請了當地部落的土著人做背伕和嚮導，由於時間緊，需趕路，
而這些土著人很吃苦耐勞，背著幾十公斤的裝備物資依然健步如飛，
一連三天考察隊都很順利地按計劃行進，大家都很開心。
可是第四天早上，考察隊準備出發的時候，
土著人們都在休息不走了，好說歹說就是不願出發。
隊員們很奇怪，這幾天大家相處得很好啊，
是不小心觸犯了他們還是要坐地加錢？
這時，土著人的頭領解釋道，
按照他們的傳統，如果連續三天趕路，第四天必須停下來休息一天，
以免我們的靈魂趕不上我們的腳步。
這個現代人也許看來很難理解的解釋，讓我很受觸動。
我們的生活太忙碌了，工作和生活的壓力讓我們日復一日地在趕路，
以至於我們很少停下來思考一下，就不斷地被很多東西推著走，
或者追逐著眼前的東西而去，
而我們的靈魂早已落後在我們匆匆趕路的身影後面無影無蹤。
沒有了自己我們的生活就交給了外物去控制。
又到了一周，我們是不是也放緩腳步，等一等我們的靈魂？
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 15th, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Last Wednesday, I got knocked down by a motorcycle while getting down from a bus.
It was a morning with very heavy traffic, a route that would usually take up 45 minutes in a car took up 2 hours that day. The bus stopped a bit in front instead of exactly at the bus stop. I was talking on the phone… AND… I didn’t check if there’s anything (a ghost maybe?) from the left before getting down. And “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH……….!!!” ycfoo screamed and landed on the tar road. The next minute when I was conscious, I was already squatting on the walking path beside the road. I tried to stand up but found myself unable to support myself hence squatted down again. The motorcyclist actually scolded me and then sped off. A malay.
Responses from people when I narrated this accident were, “Didn’t you scold back?” “Didn’t you ask for money for medical checkup?” Huhu… I couldn’t even raise my head to look at that motorcyclist how could I raise my voice to fight for my right or to scold?
But then… that’s not the point of this entry. I think I’ve already given up on this country. I never expected the motorcyclist or anyone witnessing the accident to give a hand. Typical lar, Malaysians. And YES, I’m VERY AWARE that I’m also a Malaysian and that I’m one of the many products of our nation’s FAILED education.
Again… that’s not the point of this entry HAHA. I got bruises, some small external wounds and scratches over my body. And I got muscle pain, especial on my left arm that got knocked by the motorcycle and the right butt that landed on the tar (=.=). Yeah, they are painful. But, what are them compared to what people I know say and do to me? These wounds leave scars on my skin; words and actions of people I know leave scars on my heart. I know how to get rid of the scars on skin, and I can make it as long as I have plenty of money. But, does anyone know… how to get rid of the scars on the heart? Do you know?
p/s: ok, this world is not so dark lar. A guy in the workshop right in front of the scene was looking at me when I stood up later on. I asked to borrow the toilet. He was standing right outside of the toilet when I got out and asked with concern if I was alright and if I got any wounds. I could tell that he was worried. He was a Chinese.
Yes, I’m racist. Judge me and sue me!
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 4th, 2009 | 18 Comments »
I haven’t been updating much in my blog, have I?
Nothing happens in my life recently? No, things happen. I got hurt, I got excited, I felt disappointed, I felt satisfied, I felt irritated, I felt peace. Things… happened, and still, are happening.
The major reason of starting the current blog is to serve as a releasing platform for me. Unfortunately, it has come to a point that contemplating whether this piece of information is appropriate to appear in my blog becomes a tough process, imposing even more pressure. So yeah, the lack of update.
“Suck them in, put on the I-don’t-care face, and proceed’ is what I’ve been doing. It seems unhealthy. Yet, think of it. A lot of things, too many of them, really, are just out of my control. Seriously. Out.of.control. No point grieving over it. No point complaining about it. So, I just hope that, by not mentioning about it, you and I forget about it, and go on with life.
Filed under: Uncategorized on October 4th, 2009 | No Comments »